This age-old argument over morality, its legality and who really gets to decide when life begins and has the right to end it resurfaced again in a fiery exchange between Sally, a vocal social media feminist, and Paul Rudiment, her anti-feminist counterpart, on the Cruise YouTube debate platform. At one point, when the subject of abortion was laid bare as “Abortion is a fundamental human right and men should have no say,” it captured the core of the conflict in blunt words: who decides? And on this subject, are we really listening to one another?

The debate on abortion has always been more than a matter of law or medicine.

For decades, society has swung between extreme positions. On one end, abortion is cast as murder, a moral sin that strips life from the unborn. Thought leaders on this side of the spectrum have always weighed spiritual references to hone down these points. On the other hand, it is defended as a necessary tool for safeguarding women’s health and giving people the power to choose the course of their lives.

What makes this debate so persistent and so heated is that it sits at the intersection of religion, politics, healthcare and gender roles.

What the Numbers Reveal About Abortion Bans

From a global perspective, the numbers speak volumes. According to WHO, nearly half of the 121 million unintended pregnancies each year end in abortion. Surprisingly, research from the Guttmacher Institute revealed that abortion is highest in Africa and Latin America;  regions with some of the strictest abortion laws. Countries with liberal abortion laws returned much lower abortion rates, largely due to access to contraception and reproductive health services.

In a 2015 publication, the Guttmacher Institute revealed that in Nigeria,  studies show that unmarried women account for the highest share of abortions; unlike in some neighbouring countries where married women are the majority.

It further revealed in 2018 that Nigeria account for an estimated 1.25 million induced abortions annually. Because abortion is heavily restricted, most of these are unsafe, contributing to Nigeria’s maternal mortality ratio of 512 deaths per 100,000 live births, which is one of the highest in the world. Unsafe abortions are a major driver of this crisis, as women resort to unqualified providers or dangerous self-managed methods.

What the numbers reveal is somewhat telling: Where abortion is restricted or criminalised, unsafe procedures become rampant, leading to preventable deaths and long-term health complications. Conversely, countries with safe, legal access not only protect women’s lives but also show better outcomes in maternal health and family stability. In short, outlawing abortion doesn’t stop it, it has only made it more deadly.

A Life Must Be at Risk Before a Choice is Allowed

But legality differs across the world. In many European countries such as France, Sweden, and the UK, abortion is legal under broad conditions, often up to a specific number of weeks. In countries like El Salvador and the Philippines, abortion is completely banned with no exceptions. Even in the United States, ‘the moral police of the world’, its legal landscape is somewhat fractured.

However, since the Supreme Court case overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, abortion rights have been left to individual states, creating a patchwork where some states like California strongly protect the right; while others like Texas have imposed near-total bans.

Back home in Nigeria, abortion remains largely illegal; one of the strictest stances in the world. The Nigerian law criminalises abortion except when it is necessary to save the life of the mother.

Under the Criminal Code Act (Section 228–230) applicable in the southern states and the Penal Code (Sections 232–236) in the northern states, anyone who unlawfully performs or procures an abortion is “guilty of a felony and is liable to imprisonment for 14 years.”

A woman attempting to end her pregnancy can face up to seven years. And anyone guilty of supplying abortion pills is liable to imprisonment for three years. In simple terms, Nigerian law only recognizes abortion as lawful when it is done to preserve the life of the woman.

If Life is Shared, Why Isn’t the Choice?

Still, morality cannot be erased from the conversation. For many, the unborn child is not an abstract concept but a living being whose rights are worth defending. Anti-abortion advocates argue that abortion undermines society’s respect for life itself, a slippery slope that weakens our collective sense of responsibility and ethics.

While the legality of abortion differs across borders, the heart of the Cruise YouTube debate often returned to a deeper question: who gets to decide? This tension came to a head in the clash between Paul Rudiment and Sally, where the argument mirrored the lived realities of everyday Nigerians: if men and women both create life, why should only one side decide whether it continues?

But here’s the counter: abortion is not just about life; it is about whose body is at stake. Pregnancy is not a neutral event. It demands physical, emotional and financial sacrifice, one that falls disproportionately only on women.

As Sally emphasised, granting men authority over abortion can easily become a weapon of control rather than fairness.

“You want to control a woman’s body because you got her pregnant?” Sally quizzed in the heated exchange, to which Rudiment responded, “I have a say [since] I actually put it inside of you.”

The truth is, abortion will never be a simple yes-or-no issue. It touches on power, faith, science and deeply personal circumstances. It shouldn’t even be a conversation in a nation where it is legally incriminating. Some abortions are chosen out of necessity, some from fear, and some from a vision of a different life path. Reducing it to slogans or rigid laws does a disservice to the complexity of real people’s lives.

So, who really has the final say? Is it the woman carrying the pregnancy, the man who fathered it, the lawmakers drafting bills or the society that sets the moral tone? The answer to this may not be definitive but there is a need to step back from shouting matches and start listening to lived experiences.

Ahmed Tahir is a Youth Corps  Member from Abuja Nigeria.