Perhaps, the fundamental challenge women like me face is that we were raised to be perfect for partners for themselves are not perfect. However, these men do not most likely understand that they are imperfect much less consider ways through which they can improve on themselves due to the lies told to them by patriarchy.
Patriarchy is a social system where men hold primary power and are predominant in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of the property; that is in property, title, and inheritance.
However, for the females in every patriarchal society, we are tied to the dilemma of constant struggle for perfection in order to impress, please and satisfy them.
In return, we end up breaking into a million pieces, getting mentally, emotionally, and physically wounded striving for perfection to please the system that is designed to misunderstand, mistreat, misquote and misread a woman no matter what she does. This is one of the many things that lead to disharmony because the only way anyone can ever appreciate perfection is by recognizing and understanding it, not by misunderstanding, dictating, and controlling it.
Sadly, most men are blind, and unconscious to the fact that they are indeed anything but perfect themselves, yet women put up with them. And that oftentimes, it is their own insecurities and imperfections that they project imperfections upon the womenfolk to mock, ridicule disregard, and call them weak.
A lot of men do not understand how patriarchy negatively affects them much less destroys them that is one of the reasons why they vehemently protect it. But patriarchy not only affects men but destroys them too. How does patriarchy destroy men? By misleading them into believing that:
i. Patriarchy tells men that they are superior to a woman, and a woman must submit to them. But that is not entirely true because having different physical attributes and sexual organs do not make anyone superior over the other. Why must a woman submit to a man? She is no slave, only slaves submit. The ear of slavery is long gone.
ii. It is a man’s world and men may do as they please. Yes, it is a man’s world, but there is a responsibility that comes with believing that. However, patriarchy did not tell men the responsibility that comes from believing it is a man’s world and a man may do as he pleases. It is not knowing the responsibility of this belief that has caused all the chaos that is unfolding in our world today, because men keep causing destruction with impunity.
iii. A woman is created for a man’s comfort and pleasure- This flows both ways. A man is also created to provide comfort and pleasure to the woman.
iv. A man may have as many women as he wants and desires. The truth is you cannot have every woman you desire because if you do, it may destroy you.
Yes, patriarchy kills men too.