I was scrolling through WhatsApp Status on Sunday morning when I came across a status shared by a friend. I think he had reposted it from someone else.
It was a screenshot of a chat with a contact saved as “Mother-in-law.” The message read:
“If she misbehaves, beat her.”
The reply was:
“Thank you, Mom. ????”
I was genuinely surprised. I asked my friend why he shared something like that, and he said it was “just for fun.”
I told him it wasn’t funny at all. To me, it was promoting domestic violence by treating it as a joke. Instead of considering my point, he argued that my opinion about not wanting to get married or have children is more dangerous than making jokes about domestic violence. I simply laughed and said, “Okay.”
I’m writing this because I’m concerned by how some men seem to think that women are somehow less deserving of respect, and that beating a wife is normal or even acceptable.
I remember when one of the elders in my family was getting married to his third wife. I happened to be in the car with him and some of his friends. He was excitedly telling them that the bride’s parents and brothers had given him full permission to beat her whenever she “misbehaved.” I was just a child at the time, but I couldn’t hide my surprise. His friends all seemed to agree with him, and they laughed together. Even today, I can still vividly remember that moment.
As I grew older, I learned that many people in the family already knew he was a wife-beater. I was once told about an incident where he beat both his first wife and her adolescent daughter at the same time. I don’t think even animals deserve to be treated that way.
What struck me was that both my friend and this man have one thing in common: they are extremely religious. It makes me wonder whether this is truly what their religion teaches, or whether people sometimes use religion to justify beliefs and behaviors that are rooted in culture, power, or personal attitudes rather than the faith itself.
Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, I don’t think violence against a spouse should ever be treated as entertainment or something to celebrate.
By Almustapha Bishir Jume
