For decades, the movement to end domestic violence has transformed lives by exposing abuse, strengthening laws, supporting survivors, and challenging harmful social norms. These achievements have saved countless women and children and remain vital.
Yet one reality continues to receive far less attention: men can also be victims of domestic violence.
Recognizing this truth does not betray women. It does not weaken efforts to protect women and girls. Instead, it strengthens our commitment to justice by ensuring no victim is ignored because of their gender.
Domestic violence is about power, control, intimidation, and abuse. While women experience disproportionately high rates of severe and repeated intimate partner violence, research consistently shows that men are also affected. The question is not whether women suffer; they do.
The question is whether we are willing to acknowledge every person who experiences abuse and ensure that support is available to all victims.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly one in three men have experienced physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Millions more have endured psychological aggression, coercive control, threats, and emotional abuse. These experiences can have profound and lasting consequences on mental health, relationships, employment, and overall well-being.
Research by psychologist Denise A. Hines has further demonstrated that male victims can experience severe forms of abuse, including physical assault, coercive control, threats, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Her work has also highlighted the unique challenges male victims face when seeking help. Many report being dismissed, disbelieved, or unable to access services that recognize their experiences.
Despite growing evidence, male victims remain largely invisible in public conversations about domestic violence. Many men never report the abuse they experience because they fear ridicule, shame, or being perceived as weak. Others worry they will not be believed by family members, friends, law enforcement, or support services. As a result, countless men suffer in silence, often for years.
The consequences of this silence can be devastating. Men who experience domestic violence are at increased risk of depression, anxiety, substance misuse, social isolation, and suicidal thoughts. The impact often extends beyond the individual victim. Children who witness abuse, regardless of which parent is being harmed, can experience emotional distress, behavioural difficulties, and long-term psychological consequences.
Ignoring male victims does not protect women. It simply creates another group of survivors who are left without support.
Compassion is not a limited resource. Protecting one group of victims does not require neglecting another. A society that values justice should be capable of recognizing suffering wherever it exists.
Recognizing male victims is not about competing with women for attention, resources, or sympathy. Domestic violence is not a contest over who suffers more. Every victim deserves safety, dignity, and access to support. The goal should be to build systems that respond effectively to all victims, rather than excluding some who do not fit traditional expectations.
An inclusive approach benefits everyone. When researchers collect data on all victims, our understanding of domestic violence becomes more accurate. When healthcare professionals, social workers, and law enforcement officers are trained to recognize abuse against men as well as women, more survivors receive the support they need. When public awareness campaigns acknowledge that anyone can be a victim, more people feel empowered to seek help.
Protecting male victims also strengthens broader efforts to prevent domestic violence. Better data leads to better policies. Greater awareness leads to earlier intervention. More inclusive services ensure that fewer victims fall through the cracks. A comprehensive response to domestic violence is not weakened by inclusion; it is strengthened by it.
Women’s rights and men’s well-being are not opposing causes. They are grounded in the same belief that every human being deserves to live free from violence, fear, and abuse. We can continue advocating for women while also ensuring that men who experience domestic violence are seen, believed, and supported. These goals are complementary, not contradictory.
Recognizing male victims of domestic violence does not betray women. It affirms a principle that lies at the heart of every human rights movement: every victim matters. If we are truly committed to ending domestic violence, our compassion cannot be selective. Every survivor deserves to be seen, every victim deserves protection, and every life deserves dignity.
Halima Layeni
Founder of the Life After Abuse Foundation & Author of ‘Dear MEN’
