There are people whose expectations we will never meet. There are people whose moods and emotions we can not keep up with. There are people whose frames of the world will not align with our lenses no matter how much we try to adjust our focus to fit their frames.
When we try to ‘change’ these people, when we change ourselves to ‘change’ them, we change. We are changed by the change we seek, sacrifice, strive for in them often at a high cost, sometimes almost at the cost of our souls and still they, may never ‘change’ to meet our expectations, to meet expectations in the relationship between us.
As we push on, push against our spirit and senses to satisfy them, to meet the demands of living up to their perfection, petals of our beauty can become crushed, wings of our aspirations broken, our voice buried, our values burnt. We can become, unbecome, in our bid for them to become.
Thus, when we find that we are journeying through life with someone, people who will keep raising the bar beyond our reach in the relationship, people who shifts the goal post away constantly so we can never win with them, it comes down to one thing – choice.
It comes down to a conscious choice between us and them. Chasing after them, chasing after their ideal will never make us ideal enough for them, do we then continue to choose them over us? Or can we choose us instead?
Indeed we can redirect all that love and generosity we pour into their bottomless cup to us, pour into our pot when we choose us. That means we can choose the best of our dreams to aspire to, the best of us to actualize and the best of life to achieve.
How beautiful and blessed we, our life would truly be to find love and acceptance in us, for us.
Is a Psychotheraphist, Counsellor, Life Coach, Writer and Social Enterprenuer
